Heed the Red Flags... in Relationships

We all see them, and we ignore them every day. Red flags. Whether they’re cold hard facts or little hunches that give us an uneasy feeling, red flags warn us of potential trouble ahead.  When making everyday decisions, like what gym to join, or major life decisions, like who to marry, we always get some sort of alert that says “Run!” So why is it that we never heed the warning?

One of the areas where red flags are the most obvious – and the most ignored – is in romantic relationships. For some reason, when our hearts get involved, all the logic and good sense we were born with just flies out the window.

You knew when you first met old girl that she was trouble, but you took her home to meet mom anyway. One kid and two police reports later, you’re wondering how you got into this mess of a relationship. You ignored the red flags.

Most of us have some standards that are non-negotiable… until we meet that one person who makes us throw all caution to the wind.  If you want a committed relationship and he just wants to “hang out,” that’s a red flag. If you can’t wait to have kids, but he can’t stand being around little ones, that’s a red flag. Look these warnings in the eye and face them. Stop believing that it’s all in your head. It’s not. Think you’re going to get them to change? You won’t. What you’re seeing and experiencing is real, so behave accordingly – and by that I mean, move on.

Guys, if you’re dating a girl who has the latest Coach purse, a pair of Christian Louboutins and a new hairstyle every week, but her cell is always off and she has to borrow gas money, those are signs. Her priorities aren’t in order and she’s irresponsible with her money… which means she’ll be irresponsible with your money. Three years later, you’re married and working two jobs just to make ends meet because wifey has a spending problem that you ignored while you were dating.

Sometimes, red flags aren’t as obvious as calls to the cops or disconnected phones. Sometimes, it’s just a feeling, but still, don’t ignore it. Your gut or instinct will let you know if the person who interests you is worth your time or if you should run for the hills.