Heed the Red Flags... in Relationships

We all see them, and we ignore them every day. Red flags. Whether they’re cold hard facts or little hunches that give us an uneasy feeling, red flags warn us of potential trouble ahead.  When making everyday decisions, like what gym to join, or major life decisions, like who to marry, we always get some sort of alert that says “Run!” So why is it that we never heed the warning?

One of the areas where red flags are the most obvious – and the most ignored – is in romantic relationships. For some reason, when our hearts get involved, all the logic and good sense we were born with just flies out the window.

You knew when you first met old girl that she was trouble, but you took her home to meet mom anyway. One kid and two police reports later, you’re wondering how you got into this mess of a relationship. You ignored the red flags.

Most of us have some standards that are non-negotiable… until we meet that one person who makes us throw all caution to the wind.  If you want a committed relationship and he just wants to “hang out,” that’s a red flag. If you can’t wait to have kids, but he can’t stand being around little ones, that’s a red flag. Look these warnings in the eye and face them. Stop believing that it’s all in your head. It’s not. Think you’re going to get them to change? You won’t. What you’re seeing and experiencing is real, so behave accordingly – and by that I mean, move on.

Guys, if you’re dating a girl who has the latest Coach purse, a pair of Christian Louboutins and a new hairstyle every week, but her cell is always off and she has to borrow gas money, those are signs. Her priorities aren’t in order and she’s irresponsible with her money… which means she’ll be irresponsible with your money. Three years later, you’re married and working two jobs just to make ends meet because wifey has a spending problem that you ignored while you were dating.

Sometimes, red flags aren’t as obvious as calls to the cops or disconnected phones. Sometimes, it’s just a feeling, but still, don’t ignore it. Your gut or instinct will let you know if the person who interests you is worth your time or if you should run for the hills. 

BE the Hookup

You’re always getting the hookup. Your boy got you into the club for free. Your girl gave you her employee discount for those cute new shoes. Even mom came through with a plate of your favorite meal on an ordinary Wednesday. That’s all well and good, but why not turn things around for a while? Instead of getting the hookup, try being the hookup.

A new position just opened up in your department. Recommend someone from within your professional network. You got tickets to the game, but you can't go. Call a friend and hook them up. The vending machine gave you two sodas instead of just the one you paid for. Give the other one to a co-worker. You get the picture.

You’ve heard the saying, “It’s not what you know but who you know.” Well, I believe you know lots of people who could be helpful to other people. So make an introduction and be the hookup. Need some ideas? 

I’ll take the first step.

I have a wonderful dentist (she has no idea I’m putting her out there like this). Her name is Dr. Margaret Allen and her practice is Amazing Smiles. She is the most thorough dentist I’ve ever been to, and the professionals who work in her office are great and very personable. I always feel like I’m in good hands at Amazing Smiles.

Check out the hookup Starter List below.

9 Reasons We're Looking Forward to 'Scandal'

For those of us who have formed a healthy obsession with the show “Scandal,” we'll soon get another fix of Olivia Pope & Associates. Executive producer, Shonda Rhimes, has us waiting on pins and needles for more twists and turns in what I’m calling the best show on TV. Here are some of the top reasons we’re looking forward to the return of “Scandal.”

9. Olivia’s wardrobe. Ms. Pope has some serious fashion game. She usually pairs a beautiful silky top with flowing pants, heels, a fly bag and a dope coat – all in neutral tones. We’re looking forward to more of the same.

8. Drama between Olivia and Mellie. We know the FLOTUS will be by her man’s side, but where does that leave his "former" mistress? There’s nothing Mellie won’t do to keep Fitz in the Oval Office, but now that his presidency is in jeopardy, will she and Olivia band together once again to take down the new Madame President and get Fitz back in power (after he gets out of the hospital, of course)?

7. Abby’s loyalty test. Will Abby start working with U.S. Attorney David Rosen again? We all felt a little betrayed when Abby started working with Rosen behind Olivia’s back, but fortunately they squashed that… or did they?  In the last episode, it looked as if Abby and David might rekindle their flame. Even though Olivia thwarted their romance, it seems there’s still a spark between those two, and Rosen isn’t done investigating Ms. Pope. 

6. Quinn’s mission. Am I the only one who's a little suspicious of Quinn’s sudden revelations about her identity switch? Before the winter break, Quinn seemed to be putting the pieces together. Let’s see how much farther along that road she goes now that Huck is in federal custody.

5. Olivia and Edison’s romance. Although we Scandlites are pleased to see Olivia dating someone who is actually available, Edison is… eh. Thanks to their romantic history, it was easy for Olivia to fall back into his arms when she and Fitz called it quits, but now that the president is fighting for his life, will Olivia dump Edison to stay by Fitz’s side?

4. Cyrus, James and ballot fixing. Cyrus loves his husband, but he just might love the president more – enough to do whatever it takes to keep the ballot scandal secret. With James on the brink of blowing up that whole spot, we can’t wait to see how that situation will pan out. The last person who almost broke a huge scandal was Quinn’s murdered boyfriend, Gideon, who was THIS close to telling the world about the Fitz-Amanda-Billy triangle.

3. Olivia saves Huck – we hope. Olivia has serious clout, but she is playing with a fragile house of cards. Right now, it’s every man for himself, and even she might have trouble getting Huck out of this colossal mess.  But we have faith. Olivia hasn’t let us down yet.

2. Huck’s revenge. Poor Huck. He wanted love and a chance at normalcy so badly that he fell for Becky, someone who had some shade to her from the beginning. Although Huck is sort of a good guy (he is an assassin after all), we think he’ll get back at Becky if for no other reason than to get revenge for killing the family Huck stalked.

1. Fitz’s fate. Now this is the $64,000 question.  There are a thousand theories on who wants Fitz out of the picture and why. There’s Mellie, the VP, Hollis, and even Cyrus. We suspect producers will hold on to this bit of information until the season finale. We’ll just have to wait and see.

What would Judy do?
The real-life Olivia Pope, Judy Smith, gives us her take on the scandals in the show. Check out her blog. 

Kick the Bucket! How to Rock Your Bucket List This Year

Dust off that bucket list you wrote two years ago and start making things happen! You know the routine. January gets here and you start making all sorts of plans and goals for how you’re going to really rock your life this year. Yeah, ok. The next thing you know, another 365 days have gone by, and nothing. 

This year, do something different. Forget making new resolutions. Take out that bucket list I know you already wrote a while ago, and start living the life you really want to live. Don’t know where to start? I’ve got some tips for you.

Dream big, start small. You don’t have to conquer the world all in one year through your bucket list. If one of your goals is to get a degree, start by registering for a class or two. Even just a small step in the right direction can get you going. Use that momentum to take the next step, or…

Jump right in! If you’re the “go big or go home” type, take a big leap of faith and just go for it– whatever it is. You want to start a business? Do it. Always dreamed of performing stand-up comedy? Sign right up. Sometimes making a commitment will force you to follow through on something you’ve been putting off for years. So go ahead, just do it.

Subscribe to coupon sites. If you’re not hip to Groupon, LivingSocial or similar coupon sites, you’re missing out on some great opportunities to knock a few things off your bucket list. These sites not only have deep discounts at your favorite restaurant or clothing retailer, but they have deals for all sorts of fun and adventurous activities and great escapades. If you’ve always wanted to try bungee jumping or white water rafting, or travel to Bora Bora or Paris, log on and make your wildest travel dreams come true.

Help someone with their bucket list. Ask your family and friends for copies of their bucket lists, and instead of giving them a tie or gadget for their birthday, anniversary or graduation, help them cross off one of the items from their lists. They’ll have a great life experience and you’ll feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

A few items on my bucket list…

Tour Italy

Write and publish a book

Become fluent in French

Start a scholarship fund

Bake a (delicious) cake from scratch

All the Inspiration You Will Ever Need for 2013

Welcome to 2013!!! Whoo-hoo! It’s a new day, a new year and another chance to get cracking on making your life all that it can be. The difference between this year and every other year in the past is that THIS year, you’re actually going to DO some of the things you keep dreaming about. You’re going to put pen to paper, put one foot in front of the other and make things happen. Yes, you. Three hundred sixty-four days from now, you’ll have at least one real, tangible goal that you will have accomplished – and your life will be so much richer.

We know you’re all optimistic right now and you have the best of intentions for the next 12 months, but even the most motivated among us needs a little help staying fired up from time to time. Here are seven places to check out on the Web to keep you inspired all year long.

Nick Vujicic – He has no arms or legs, but he’s got plenty of heart! If Nick’s life doesn’t inspire you, nothing will.

Great Day – This site is chock full of great motivational passages that hit so close to home, you won’t be able to keep these gems to yourself.

Tony Robbins – Tony is one of the best life coach gurus, hands down!

Zen Habits – They say less is more. That’s certainly the case with Leo Balboa’s site, which is all about simplicity.

Danielle LaPorte – Danielle’s mission in life is to light a fire under you! With her no-holds-barred attitude, she gives it to you straight so you can make the most of your potential.

Marie Forleo – Got business goals? Marie Forleo’s fun and practical coaching helps motivate you toward taking that first step… and then a second… a  third… you get the picture.

Female Entrepreneurship Association – This site isn’t just for women. It’s for anyone who needs a bit of inspiration and some great tips in the area of entrepreneurship.